Shepherds, and Gucci's
A shepherd was herding his
flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW drove out of a cloud of
dust towards him.
The driver, a young man in
a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looked at the
man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly
The yuppie parked his car,
whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to
a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation
system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet
with complex formulas.
He sent an email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer -- then turns to the
shepherd and says........."You have exactly 1586 sheep".
"That is correct; you may
take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
He watches the young man
select one of the animals and bundle it into his BMW.
Then the shepherd says:
"If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my
"OK. Why not?" said the
"Clearly, you are a
consultant" said the shepherd.
"That's correct" says the
yuppie, "how'd you guess that?"
"No guessing required"
answers the shepherd.
· "You turned up here although nobody called you.
· You want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
· to a question I never asked, and
· you don't know a blasted thing about my business.
Now … give me back my
the Oldest Profession
A physician, a civil
engineer, and a consultant were arguing about what was the oldest profession in
The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a
rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim
that mine is the oldest profession in the world."
The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of
Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from
out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular
application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is
the oldest profession in the world."
The consultant leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, "Ah,
but who do you think created the chaos?"
Consultants and Advice
The chickens in a large hen house started to quarrel, wounded
each other and many of them died every day. The upset farmer hurried to a
consultant, and asked for a solution to his problem.
"Add baking-powder to the chickens' food," said the consultant, "it will calm
After a week the farmer came back to the consultant and said: "My chickens
continue to die. What shall I do?"
"Add strawberry juice to their drinking water, that will help for sure".
A week passed, and again the farmer came to the consultant: "My chickens are
still quarrelling. Do you have some more advice?"
"I can give you more and more advice," answered the consultant. "The real
question is whether you have more chickens."